Should Have Never Taken You for Granted

it's been a week since i've had decent sleep
i stay up all night thinking of what could be
if i had done this, if i had done that
but it's just those ifs that keep me from moving forward

it's been three years since i've seen your face
and i still find i'm running in place
you know i'd do anything to hold you in my arms
or rewind to when you'd shelter me from harm

oh it's another cold night
laying in bed
wishing you were by my side
it's got to my head a thousand times
i can't keep this up
so i'll say this instead

i am not myself
and i can't find who i used to be
i'm starting to think i'm past the point of saving
but every night
i look to those natural lights
and i start believing that tomorrow will come

those calm lips, so serene
i never got to taste them,
this is what i need
to get all these thoughts
out there so someone
knows that i feel bad for taking you for granted

if i had done that
i would've saved you
i'm serious
there was hope in what we had
i closed the door
and you walked away
when you pulled the trigger

i'm sorry for giving you false pretenses
i am so tired of always pretending
that everything's alright
i wish i could sleep 
so i'd see you in my dreams tonight

but i can't
the truth is relentless
keeping me up
as my brain is defenseless
against the thought
of you