How It's Always Been

i'm so scared to be looked up to
my self worth went out the window, and that's the truth
there's no point to go look for it
it's been ten years now, i wouldn't know where the hell to begin

so please, if you see me with my head so low
i'm fine, that's how i've always been
also, if i'm missing out on opportunity
it's of my own volition, i care enough, just not about myself

'cause it's been raining here for years
the grass is so broken up with mud
it's making it's way up to my thighs
i'm not sure if it's better anywhere else

so i'm stuck here in my backyard swamp
the cuts on my jeans have hidden with my feet
there's no point to pull me out
i've gone through the motions, the five stages of grief

so please, if you see me with my head so low
i'm fine, that's how it's always been
also, if i'm keeping to myself
it's of my own volition, i care only about everyone else

'cause it's been raining here for years
the grass is so broken up with mud
it's making it's way up to my neck
i'm not sure if i'll just drown here like the rest
isolation's my motivation in giving up

i'm so scared to be looked up to
my self worth went out the window, and that's the truth

i bet it's making a name for itself
i know it's much better without me
i hope i see it in the papers
above my obituary
so when you look up to me
know i'm not worthy of your time
i'll be waiting to sink under
my whole life's been a lie
and i know why

my self worth went out the window, and that's fine